Days gone...
Time flew...
Memories gathered...
Confusions arose...
All these are like chain reaction.. one comes after the other goes... when it reaches confusion, we don't know what will be best for us... but somehow, it will still be a decision for that chain reaction to end...
this is my confusion part..
1st...I wanted to wait for her but i kept pushing her away bcoz i don wan her to get hurt..she is facing one of her biggest challenge in her life n i don wanna burden her... in the end, she got the wrong concept n tot i didn't want to wait for her... i love her so much until i had to make tat decision... now i have to live on with my mistake...i wanted to ask her out on her bday, but i don think tat will be possible anymore... she is happy with him, so i wish them all the best in the future and may love be thr with them...
2nd...I met her...could i say i was mesmerized by her behaviour? or do i jz wanna look for a rebound? well.. no matter wat i do i'll jz end up hurting her... we'll part when april comes... i din have the guts to tell her how i feel... and ended up losing another 1... i got something i wanna say to her," pls appreciate the love you have. it doesn't come without a reason.."
now the real deal....
i fucked myself up... BIG TIME!!!! for my followers of this blog, i said i wanna get 4.0... but i ended up in 3.77...for those who understands pointer, 3.77 and 4.0 is a vast difference... damn... is it i didn't study hard enuff or the marker who marked my paper made a mistake?? well, i shud start with the man in the mirror.. i didn't study hard enuff... i suck!!!
haiz...
my life is really in a big big mess... and to my frens hu are studying in form 6 or those hu are hurt by my words, i'm so so sorry...i'm jz so frustrated and i start to throw knives at you guys... i'm so so in fault... scold me if you want.. u can even beat me up... i'm fine with it... make my life even messier...
i also dono why i write all these stuff when no one reads it... especially those ppl whom i mentioned. haiz... i'm really really so fuck!!!!!!
after matriculation is done, i wanna find a quiet spot where nobody will find me so tat i can some peace alone... if possible, i wanna leave this place and leave this miserable life... i'm jz nothing but a speck of dust in a big world like this.. no matter what i do, how high i go, how good i get, how far i jump, how fast i run, how smart i m, how brilliant my ideas are, i'm jz a nobody..............
nobody......................
fuck me, will ya??
1 comment:
Life is unfair. To find justice in this unbalanced world, u r almost destined to fail. Pointer is just a pointer, yesterday's is yesterday's. Let bygone be bygone & move forward with a new hope. Your eyes must shine again. You are a very talented guy, from what I can see, so far. One's wisdom is refined through the course of uneasy journey of life. U may wanna compete with others in almost everything, range from capability to intelligence. It's not wrong. But instead of making such comparison, why not u compete with ur own shadow? This is what I call a wise person indeed. I duno what's ur version of wisdom is, but I truly have strong belief in mine(to be exact, is him John C.Maxwell). Getting the right course is not tantamount to getting 4 flat. It's a world of different.
Love can be found everywhere. U may wanna claim that u know her better than any1 else. But that reflect nothing to her but only ur intractable ego. Trust me, no one welcomes a person of too strong an ego. I attended a Christian preach before(though I am a Buddhist) that dead with love. True love waits. That's what I could recall. Yet, I muz add that u muz make ur partner feel that u r on the queue. In other word, let her knows that u r waiting.
Or if u want to quit the queue it's FINE, U R 19, come on! Chances to meet the right 1 are abundant. U simply can do it when time matures. Happiness usually crept into ur life unwittingly.
I crap too much. But I know u wud understand the gists of the content.
From: A friend who u may dislike in KMJ, u won't believe it;s me either(haha! Who knows? LOL!)
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