Who Am I?

At last,

after months of rotting at home,

i finally had a thought of my own life...

looking back my whole life from the day i can remember things,

i bravely admit,

i had done nothing for my life...

there are no stories worth telling in my life...

there are no colours in my life...

there are no perfection in my life...

ya, human aren't perfect...

but at least, there should be some perfection...

i had done nothing great,

i had done nothing wonderful,

i had done nothing that i'm proud of,

i had done nothing at ALL~~~~

all these while i'd been lazing around wasting precious time n wasting precious air n wasting precious space n wasting precious energy...

there is nothing proud i can show the world...

And seriously,

i never made my parents proud before...

everytime, i have to hear,

"Nevermind la... you can do better next time..."

"it's ok... it is the past.. try to aim better n hit your target..."

and the worst is,

"Aiya, we are used to it... Since when u had been perfect? hahaha!"

although they said it with a nice tone with no cynical means, but it pierce through that little soul of mine...

I really had never heard them say,

"Wow!! So good!!"

"Well done!!"

"That's my boy!!"

don't get me wrong,

they never said those to me b4 doesn't mean they don care about me,

they never said those is because

I DON'T DESERVE IT...

Never once i had a perfect score or a perfect hit or a perfect match....

i always end up failing....

Mom, Dad, Im so sorry..........

I wanted to say "i promise i will never disappoint you again.."

but i can't say that because it will jz be another empty promise....

i'm worthless...

i have no determination, no self esteem, no guts, no power, no charisma, no strength, no precision, no faith, no results, no looks, no useful knowledge, no wisdom, no wit, no brains, and the list goes on and on and on and on and on~~~~~~~~

Most important is,

I lost my confidence....

=(

to those who read this,

Don't comment, don't say anything and don't do anything...

jz keep those words to urself...

and don't be the person i am now...

because you wouldn't want to see disappointment in your parents' eyes...

that look will never wipe off from your memory...

it will only haunt you for the rest of your life...

Tyler LMZ